Who I Am
by Talon3
Summary: Very AU. Chandler and Monica have differences and simularities. But when he goes to meet her family could those differences drive them apart? Rating has just been changed.
1. Chapter 1

-1

I do not own Friends nor the concept. Besides, I am totally and completely broke.

Alright, hopefully I am back for good. This fic is AU. More will be explained in the next chapter. I also hope to have three more at the most.

Despite all of the differences. Everything always just worked. While he was easy going and casual and generous, except being frugal. She was neurotic, frantic and loved to spend. He loved to joke around but to her nothing was a joke, so she was very serious minded except in her savings, which there were next to none. He was always saving or happened to be a financial wizard. Always seeing the profit potential, adding on to the Cds or creating new Cds. Starting new money market accounts or moving money from one to another.

The family backgrounds were different. While the older son was thought of highly in her family, she still was loved. She had parents who were there for her. He did not. His father left him and his mother at age nine. The his mother dropped him off at a boarding school a few years later. And before, during and after he was raised by servants. So he did not have unconditional love of a family.

There were similarities as well as differences. They both were easily excited. And when they both started to make plans for the future, they were strangely enough the same. Which shocked both of their friends. Which was another. They were both very careful about making friends. So they each had two really good friends.

But another major difference that was about to come up or about to…religion. He was Catholic and she was Jewish. He went to church every now and then. But she went to Temple every Saturday and very much followed the Jewish laws, including food. About the only law she did not follow was the one concerning marriage to a Gentile or non-Jew. Although to be fair they were not married, yet.

They even lived in different apartments, right across from each other. But they were in a very serious relationship with each other. They each had clothes, toothbrushes and other toiletries in the other's apartment.

They both liked waking up next to each other. He knew where ALL of her ticklish spots as well as OTHER spots were. And she knew about each of the scars on his body and where and how he got them. Not to mention, he was not circumcised.

They were in a relationship for 6 months and had known each other for four years. So when they announced their engagement, their friends were happy for them.

His mother and father loved her. They had met her soon after he moved in to his apartment. Separately, of course.

Now it was his turn to meet her parents. You would think they would have everything going for them. Since they could blend so well together or even each other out. But when he met her parents. Or even before…….

Monica sat in the car rigid while driving. She gripped the wheel until her knuckles were turning white. And alternated chewing and biting on her lower lip.

"Ok Monica. What is wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong."

"Monica, it is me that needs to worry about being nervous. It is me meeting your parents for the very first time. And I am marrying you as well. Talk about a kick in the crotch!"

Monica pulled over at a park. "Uh, Chandler could you not talk like that?"

"Sure, babe." Monica then parked the car and took a deep breath.

"As well as a few other things." She mumbled.

Chandler narrowed his eyes. "Like."

"Well. I said a few things to kind of make you sound good."

"Again I say: like…."

"You are not going to like this."

"You are probably right."

"Well our relationship is not where it is."

"Could you BE any more con….Wait your parents still think that you are a virgin?"

"Uh, well yes on that one."

"Monica, you are twenty eight. Hardly an innocent anymore."

"Your point."

"Mon, honey the things you do in bed makes porn stars look innocent or like virgins."

"Chandler, I was raised up in a household where sex was just for the man's benefit and if a woman enjoyed it. It was a major sin. Not religiously mind you. My mother taught me that. It was to control me."

"Well they failed miserably." Chandler's hand was starting to make it's way up her ankle-length skirt. "Why are you wearing this long hideous thing anyway?"

"A sign of respect to my father and mother. While growing up, my skirts always were to be worn to midcalf."

"So all this weekend I can not even touch you?"

"Chandler, when you touch me, our feelings explode to an avalanche."

"And it is not healthy to let them simmer like that." He started to unbutton her blouse.

"Two days and a two nights. Do you think you could control yourself that long?"

Chandler pouted. "No."

"I'll let you do anything when we get back." Monica whispered in his ear.

"Anything? HMMMMM…."

"But all you have to do is to control yourself, dye your hair black and say that you are Jewish."

"WHAT?"

"Please Chandler. I told them you were."

"Are you that ashamed of me that you would lie to your parents about me."

"Please, you don't understand. I want their blessings and need their approval."

"Monica you never needed their approval before."

"Please. I love you so much. That I want them to love you too."

"And us lying to them is going to do it."

"Chandler, Please! I will repay you back."

"I know I am going to regret this. But OK."

"Great, now let's go and get your hair dyed black."

No."

"Chandler…."

"Monica you are already asking me not to be who I am, I am not changing my appearance. I should not even agree to this."

"I have a way to convince you that you should."

"Hmmm."

"There is a nice hotel down the street. And we could do almost all that you want."

Chandler lifted an eyebrow. "For how long?"

"Well, since it is mid morning and we are not expected till suppertime around seven tonight. We will have half a day."

"For everything I got in mind for payback, we would have to be in bed all weekend."

Monica just grinned and started the car. Before the hotel, they stopped off at a salon and got Chandler's hair dyed.

Once they arrived at the Geller's house, later on that night right before dinner, Chandler insisted on carrying the two bags into the house, they were greeted by two overprotective parents and brother. A sympathetic sister-in-law and two nieces.

"Dad, mom, Ross, Carol, Sara and Rebecca. This is my fiancé Chandler Bing."

Chandler extended his hand out and smiled. "Nice to meet all of you."

Jack Geller eyed him suspiciously. "Welcome."

"Thank You Mr. Geller." seeing that no one was going to shake his hand he awkwardly put it down and his smile slowly faded.

Ross who had been eyeing him strangely. "Nice to meet you as well."

"Thank you."

Mrs. Geller who looked hard over him and evidently did not like what she saw. Turned her attention to her daughter. "Monica your room is made up. So you can take your bag up to your room."

"As is the guest room." Jack watched his face carefully. Seeing nothing on it continued. "The girls will sleep there. You will sleep on the couch in the den. Ross can show you where it is at."

"Or the basement." Ross pronounced out. Monica took her bag from Chandler and Carol followed her up to her old room. Chandler followed Ross down to his or the den.

Thirty minutes later, Chandler and Monica were making their way to the living room. Once arriving, Jack Geller made an announcement.

"Rabbi Hecht is coming over for dinner tonight ."

Carol shook her head. From what she saw, Chandler was really a nice guy, what they were about to do was going to be awful.

Once the guests had arrived, and dinner had started, everything started unraveling.

The Rabbi did everything in his power to make Chandler out to be a Gentile as did Ross, Jack and Judy,

Judy even went so far as to serve a dish that was not kosher or clean. But Chandler being well aware of the food laws ignored it. Or turned it down.

Ross, Jack and the rabbi asked him his opinion on recent events that dealt with Israel and also on the Jewish history.

Since he kept up with recent events, he passed that part. But the history is where he failed at miserably.

So Chandler was relieved when dinner was over. But horrified to learn that the 'interrogation' would continue for a few hours more.

Ross, Jack and the rabbi asked him his opinion on recent events that dealt with Israel and also on the Jewish history.

Since he kept up with recent events, he passed that part. But the history is where he failed at miserably.

Finally it was time for the Rabbi to go and Jack saw him to the door.

"That man is as much of a Jew as the President is."

"I know."

"Monica is too smart to have fallen for a liar."

"She lied to us and talked him into it as well."

"Do you want my advice? He is a good man it seems and for a young gentleman to go along with her story and go so far as to dye his hair. I believe he would do anything for her. Just do not try to intercede nor becoming too vocal against it. If anything happens, let it happen naturally. If you get too involved or come out against it too strongly, then she will stay with him, if not elope."

"Stand back and try to get to know him."

"Yes. From what I see, he is patient, kind, has a good sense of humor. And he will not hurt your daughter."

"I will follow your advice. Goodnight Rabbi."

"Goodnight."

While they were talking, Ross was listening to what they were saying and making some plans of his own. Plans that would ensure that Monica would not marry Chandler. He then went to consult with his mother and get her advice and help. Which she gladly gave.

Please Review.


	2. House Of Cards

-1I was informed that my fic is a little far fetched. Well, I hope that this chapter explains it all. Let me know what you think. Hopefully one of these days, I will continue and finish my other fics.

I own nothing of this show.

Carol was sitting on Monica's bed, Monica came in and shut the door. "So what do you think of him?" Monica asked sitting on the chair by the bed.

"He's nice and very cute." Carol's eyes twinkled. "Even when his hair was dyed."

Monica gasped. "How did you know?"

Carol chuckled, "It was a bad dye job."

"Oh well, a lot of people have their hair dye. I even dye my hair now and then."

"It's not now. Is it?"

"Nope."

"He really loves you. I mean not every man would pretend to be something he wasn't."

"What do you mean?"

"He is not Jewish."

"You know! Do you think the others do?"

"With the interrogation that he was given. He is thought of as either he is not or he is reformed."

"But I told mom and dad that he is a conservative Jew."

"My guess is that they know." Carol grinned and then whispered. "So how is he in bed."

Monica stammered. "Uh….."

"Monica you ran off to be independent. So I know you have. So I ask again, how is he?"

"Imagine an orgasm so intense that you can't stand up right for three hours. Now multiply that by ten."

Carol sighed, "I wouldn't know."

"What?"

"I love your brother deeply. But let me just say, while I would not give up anything about my life, there is one thing I would change."

"And that would be."

Carol smiled faintly, "The intimacy."

"My brother loves you."

"Oh, he loves me enough. But there is no passion. Not like you explained."

"Uh Carol, Chandler was my first." Carol sat there with her mouth opened. "Not my first boyfriend. But my first to have sex with."

Carol shook her head. "You were lucky to find a man that could open up all that passion within."

"I know that I never could have done that with the match that my dad and mom made."

"I think that when you ran out a month before you were suppose to marry, that was very smart of you. You wanted more out of life than being married to a widower who happened to have two children older than you."

"I know I disappointed them, but I could not go through with that marriage. I mean we are now back on speaking terms after so long. Thanks for keeping me informed about the family by the way."

"Monica, I do not believe it is right to write off one family member for six years."

"Thank you Carol."

"Hey, we had better get back before Chandler decides to dig his own grave would be better than being here." Both ladies got up and left the room.

They returned to the living room to find Chandler seated on the sofa talking being shown pictures by Nana Geller. Who had just arrived. Monica held back a giggle when Chandler gulped at something she said.

Nana just noticed Monica and Carol. She got up and hugged Monica. "Monica this boyfriend of yours is one that I approve of."

"Really?" Monica looked down at Chandler who smiled back. "I thought that he would scare you off with his jokes alone."

"Dear, I like a sense of humor. Does the relationship good. Besides he is attentive and willing to indulge an old bat like me."

"Nana, you are not an old bat."

Nana patted Monica's cheeks. "Always protective of me. Never about 'me, me, me'. You were always thinking of the other person." Judy shifted in her chair not liking the innuendo behind that statement.

The rest of the visit went well that night.

Later on, about 2 am. Chandler walked into the kitchen to get some milk because hew shaving a hard time falling to sleep. One and foremost, Monica was not next to him. And two, the sofa he was on was not comfortable.

Once he arrived, he saw Monica up already had some milk. "Great minds think alike."

"Apparently." Monica rinsed out her glass and put it in the dishwasher. She then took him by the hand. "Follow me." And led him into the laundry room, where they made out.

Thirty minutes later, Monica emerged with Chandler. She then started to the stairs. Chandler then pushed her to the refrigerator and started to kiss her deeply.

Monica allowed the kiss to continue, then after ten minutes, she pulled away from him. "As much as I want this to continue…"

"You were the one who started it."

"I know."

Before they could say anything else. "Uh, you both better get to bed. The reason that I am down here and not Ross is that I insisted that I get his water."

"Thanks Carol. We tried to be quiet."

"Not quiet enough." Ross stood there with his arms crossed. "What? My bedroom is just over the laundry room. Remember little sister."

"And I can hear ALL of you right now!" Jack stood there shaking his head. "Now what are you all doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep so I didn't think you would mind if I came up for some milk." Chandler replied.

"Same here." Monica replied.

"I couldn't sleep from hearing WHAT you both were doing in the laundry room." Ross stated. "Carol tried to say it was just mice. And that she would get me some water as well as find out the meaning of the noise."

Jack sighed. "Fine NEW sleeping arrangement. We can make the sofa bed out in the living room, and Chandler and I both will sleep there. That ought to keep all of the overnight meetings to a standstill."

Chandler's face paled considerably, "Huh?"

"Now everyone to bed." Jack then pointed at Chandler, "You come with me."

"But, I toss and turn like crazy."

"So? I snore."

"You snore?"

"Yes I do and I have snored loud enough to wake myself at times." Chandler made a whimper sound. "Well, you did this to yourself."

Everyone went off to bed.

The next morning, about six am. Chandler was in the kitchen making breakfast. Monica entered.

"Hey, you're up early."

"I hope everyone does not mind me making breakfast.' Chandler then took out another waffle out of the iron. And poured some more batter to start another.

"Was it really that bad?"

"Monica, your dad has a VERY bad cold."

Monica replied with a weak, "sorry".

Before they could continue their talk, Jack walked in and rubbed his hands together.. "Oh, breakfast. And what are we having?"

"Waffles." Monica replied with a smile as she drank some coffee.

"Great, I am starving. I had one of the best night's sleeps that I have had years." He then took five waffles. Sat down and started in on them.

"Jack! What are you doing eating waffles with all of the cholesterol causing substances on top? You know what the doctor said."

While giving Jack a lecture, Judy picked up and dumped them into the garbage disposal. She then took down the bran cereal, Got a bowl, spoon and milk out set them all in front of a dejected looking man and procured her own waffles.

While that was all going on, Chandler was grinning with his back turned while at the stove. Served him right for what he went through this morning.

Judy then looked up. "Oh, Jack I hope that you don't mind, but I invited Richard Burke for dinner tonight." Monica swallowed her coffee wrong and started coughing.

"Monica, are you ok?" Chandler asked concerned.

"Uh, yeah."

"Well?"

"I don't know Judy." His eyes indicated Monica and Chandler.

"I am sure that it is ok with them, right kids."

Chandler shrugged. "No problem here."

"Uh, yeah. No problem." Monica said weakly.

Around ten ….

"Uh, Chandler. I REALLY need to talk to you."

"Sure, what is it?"

She then pushed him into the dining room. And indicated for him to sit. And then sat down.

"Remember when I told you my parents had arranged for a marriage for me?"

"Yes and how you left month before you got married."

"I never told you his name and why they arranged the marriage."

"No." Chandler narrowed his eyes. He had a bad feeling about this.

Monica took a deep breath. "I was to marry Richard Burke."

OK, so everybody. Please review. And hopefully I will get this fic done by this weekend. But I need feedback. And thanks to those that have reviewed.


	3. Feelings Released

-1

As I stated earlier, it is AU. I will try and keep the characters in line, but some of them will not be so on the show. For those not so, I will try to make them in character later.

A bit or a fragment I know of the Jewish religion… The ultra traditional is the Orthodox Jew, very observant of their holy days and they take their bible seriously and performs their services in Hebrew, the conservative Jew is also observant but also not as traditional. And the reformed Jew is observant but a little more or a lot more, depending, lax. And I believe that the conservative and reformed also have their services in English and the men and women are not separated, as they are in the Orthodox services.

The Geller household is a mixture of Orthodox and conservative.

Now onto the fic…..

Monica took a deep breath, "I was to marry Richard Burke."

Chandler narrowed his eyes, "The man that is coming to dinner tonight."

"Yes." Monica was dusting down the table with her fingers that had no dust there.

"Do you think if you see him tonight any feelings will come back?"

Monica looked into Chandler's eyes and placed her hand on the side of his face. "I never did have any feelings for him."

"Why did you agree to marry him?"

"When I was a young teenage girl, a little over sixteen, I was invited to a party at a friend's house."

"My parents said no. I pretended to listen to them and asked if I could stay over at Rachel's house instead."

"Rachel?"

Monica smiled, "My best friend at the time. She was also dating my brother."

"I take it that she was also going to the party."

Monica then grinned. "Of course. Anyway we arrived at the party when it was in full swing. And then surprise, it got out of control, the neighbor called the police and well, Rachel and I were not lucky to get away fast enough, so we got hauled in."

Chandler smiled, "Sounds like something that would happen to a normal teen."

Monica frowned. "Not in my family. To say that my parents were mad is an understatement. When they arrived, it was awful. Both of my parents were screaming at me. Never mind that I did not drink alcohol that night."

"I bet they were sore."

"Oh, they were. I mean Ross was perfect. He never went to _parties. _He stayed home and studied whether it be schoolwork or the bible. The only time he went out was to take Rachel on a date." Monica shook her head. "Poor guy. I wonder if he is truly happy. There was so much that he missed out on."

"But how does this apply to your situation?"

"Well, after that, they had Rabbi Goldstein over, the next day actually. And you know what he advised them to do? Marry me off as soon as I graduated school."

"But you were just an average teenager!"

"Well Rabbi Goldstein was almost ninety three, I think. And that was what they did from his generation. Arranged marriages and so forth."

"How could they? How could any parent? You were not really rebelling. Just spreading your wings."

"Chandler, I don't know. Maybe they were used to Ross obeying their every whim. Maybe they not only agreed with the rabbi but did what their parents did for them as well as they did for Ross."

"They all had arranged marriages?"

"Oh yeah."

"Man that's harsh. I had enough of a problem finding the right girl because I could never really find someone to put up with me. But I have to know the person and love her."

"I mainly think what it was they were worried about me. Ross told them that I was too flirty with the boys at school."

"Oh really?"

Monica shook her head and smiled. "No. I did not flirt I was being friendly. I mean I treated those boys like I did Ross. He just thought I was too close to them."

"Talk about being weird. Or maybe he was jealous."

"Jealous? Ross?"

"It all makes perfect sense."

"What does?"

"I mean you had all of those friends. From what you told me, Ross was a loner. Did not go to parties, did nothing but study and you say had model airplanes."

"No planes, dinosaurs."

"DINOSAURS! What a geek!"

"CHANDLER! Not so loud."

Chandler chuckled, "What? It is true."

"And he was part of a club. The science club."

"I still think that he was jealous of you so he had to make you look bad somehow."

"Well, anyway my dad's friend Richard Burke, who's wife just died four months before, came for a visit three days later." Monica drew in a breath. "Dad explained to him what happened. And told him what the rabbi said or advised." Chandler shook his head, knowing what was coming. "And Dr. Burke made sort of an offer to my dad."

Chandler groaned. "Please tell me you are kidding."

"That he had a huge two story house, had a steady job, a respected member of the community, and a huge bank account. So I would be well taken care of. With a stable, disciplined environment as well."

"Did he not even take your feeling into consideration?"

"NO I cried, I begged, I had a temper tantrum. I tired everything. They still wouldn't budge."

"Did they not even care about your feelings?"

"They were doing what they thought to be best."

"How old is your father's friend?"

"Two years older than dad."

"You mean your parent's were seriously going to throw you to a cradle robber!" Chandler was almost yelling. "What kind of sickos would do such a thing?"

"Chandler! They can hear you!"

"I don't care!" Chandler was up and pacing back and forth waving his hands around as he was screaming at the top of his lungs. "What kind of uncaring people do you have as parents?"

"Chandler…." Monica was up and trying too stop him. At this time, Jack, Judy and Ross were standing at the entranceway watching.

"My parents are normal compared to them." Chandler shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Mon. I never thought I would say that."

Monica looked at her parents and knew right then that they would never give her their blessings. And it was doubtful from their expressions on her father's face, he would give her away.

Chandler noticing them for the first time, let loose on his tirade. Pointing his finger at Jack. "You what kind of an unfit father are you? Throwing your daughter to a man older than yourself. Disgusting!"

"I…"

"No I am not finished!" Then pointing at Judy. "I have seen the little snide remarks that you have said to Monica since we have been here and I am sick of them. I was taught by my grandparents if you don't have anything nice to say then shut your FUCKING mouth!"

"They taught you that?"

"I rephrased it!" Then, pointing at Ross. "My psychos teacher at NYU told me about sibling rivalry. But YOU take the cake! For you it is about a contest of who gets the most parent's love and attention. Well, you wanted it and you got it. And seeing the imbeciles that your parents are, you are more than welcomed to it."

Monica sighed, tears in her eyes, shaking her head. Chandler went over to her and held her. "I am sorry Monica, but I can not stand being in the same house as your family. I am going to pack so I can go back home."

"Good! Get out! And don't you come around here again. You gentile. That's right, The whole family knows you are not Jewish." Judy yelled out.

"Gladly. And when I get back I am going to see my priest and do penitence for all the lies I told. Although staying here for one night is purgatory enough."

Chandler turned to leave. On his way out he met Carol. "Carol, you were a ray of light in this cesspit."

Ross turned to Monica, "Some fiancé. He is…."

"More of a man then you will ever be." Carol committed.

"Carol?" Ross was stunned.

"He is no mama's boy. And I guess now is the time for me to tell you this. I am getting a divorce. You can live with your mommy."

"But the girls!"

"I do not want you to do to them what Monica has gone through."

Monica was leaving the room. She stopped and turned around. "Things are never going to change between us. But that is okay. I am used to this. I was hoping that a few things would. But you see, if anyone made a mistake. It was me. I was the one who insisted that Chandler change into someone that I thought that you would at least approve of. But truthfully, I never should have asked. He is the man I love. For all of his faults and imperfections. Whether it be his sense of humor, which I dearly love, to his smug smile when he knows that he is right and I am wrong. I even love that he is uncircumcised." Monica laughed seeing her parents' and brother's faces. "So I guess this good-bye. I was hoping that you would be in my life and my future family's lives. But really, you don't deserve to be around with those attitudes. Come and see me when you decide to change." Monica then left to find Chandler.

Chandler was finishing packing his clothes in the den when Monica walked in. "Let me guess, you are going to stay?"

"No. We are going to see a friend of mine. I called Rachel up and informed her of what happened, and she invited us over to stay with her and her husband, Chip."

Chandler turned toward Monica and held her. "I am sorry. But I could not hold back anymore."

"I should have told you the truth."

"Someone had to stick up for you."

"Three people have. You, Nana Geller and Rachel."

"Rachel?"

"Rachel was drunk at the party. I was trying to get her home. The police found us when they busted the party and took us to the station. Called our parents. Leonard and Saundra Green were disappointed, but they treated it like it was. Teenagers being teenagers. My parents didn't"

"Yeah, no doubt."

"I always wished in a small way that my parents were like them."

"My mom and dad were never attentive but they at least let me be a kid."

"My bag is mostly packed. I just have a few more items to grab and I will meet you out at the car."

"See ya there." Chandler picked up his bag and they both started to walk up the stairs, seeing her parents glaring at him. He smiled cheekily at Monica. "Babe, I am going to buy you a halter top and shortest skirt and highest heels we can find as soon as we leave here. Drop off those ridiculously low skirts, terrible shoes and horrible blouses at the shelter. Besides I love seeing your legs, also knowing that other men can look but not touch is perfect to me."

Monica laughed . "Chandler you are never going to change are you?"

"Awe… Mon. You know you love me despite that."

"Yup, now go to the car, before my parents decide to call the police."

Chandler looked at how the Gellers were glaring. "No I am not leaving you alone." They both went up to the bedroom and got Monica's bag and then left.

Should I continue? Epilogue maybe let me know.


	4. Meeting Rachel's Family

-1

Sorry it has taken SOOOOOOOOOOO long in continuing this fic. I will try and get to the others as soon as I can,

I do not own Friends. I am only borrowing them. Thus saying…

Last time: Chandler told off Ross, Jack and Judy, then went to get his bags. Monica also said good bye as well.

Chandler looked over at Monica. She had her head against the passenger window. Tears were filling up her eyes. And one had made it's course down her cheek.

"Mon, I am sorry."

"Chandler there is nothing for you to be sorry about."

This time he pulled over. His thumb wiped away her tear and another started. "But you are crying. I mean I know I factor in this equation. If I had tried…"

"Chandler there was nothing ya could've done. They were determined to not like you from the start. And for your information, I am not crying for lose of them, I am crying because our children will not know my father and mother and Ross."

"You don't have to disown your parents cause of me. I mean I am not worth it."

"Chandler, stop it! To me you are more than worth it. You have always made me feel better. You made me smile on days when I felt worthless. That smile you gives me makes me feel like I am the most special person in the world. You are everything to me."

Chandler put his arm around Monica and unbuckled her safety belt. "That is because you are the ONLY person in my world who makes me into someone better. Remember how I was before you? Ya couldn't tear me away from Baywatch or porn…"

Monica's hand traveled down his chest to his pants. "Oh you haven't changed much there."

"Uh , Mon. Trust me I have changed." Chandler gulped when Monica's hand started to massage him.

"Really? And when was the last time you saw a naked woman?" Monica then unbuttoned and pulled his zipper down. Then slowly started to walk her right hand down into his pants. "You're not answering me." She then started to play with her favorite muscle. While doing so she kissed him right below his right ear. Then huskily breathed, "Chandler, answer me."

Chandler's knuckles were white as he had his hands gripped on the steering wheel. He liked his dry lips and croaked out, "Wh-what's the q-question." Then she started to squeeze him. "MON!"

Monica smiled she had just won. Then again she always won when it came to this. All she had to do was to get to him. On his most carnal fantasies.

Since the first time when she learned he was better at sex than her, she went out and bought every book out there on the subject. Karma Sutra one and two, How to Know Your Significant Others Body and the list went on. And she was well versed in everything in the books, plus some stuff they made up. Or mainly she.

First off, she discovered that most of the time, Chandler loved being in control of her while they were having sex. And she would let him. She loved it. Of course she would lead him to those ideas and he would take over and most of the time improve on them. But what she didn't know was that Chandler had found out about the reading material and bought the exact same books. That was how he stayed one step ahead of her.

Monica was close to bringing him to making him come but them she stopped, her hand right above his crotch. This was pure torture. She had him and they both knew it.

"When was the last time you saw a naked woman?"

Chandler blew between his gritted teeth. "Woman, you are killing me!" Seeing her starting to take her hand away from his pants. "At the hotel with you." Monica squeezed him lightly.

"And the time before that?" She then released.

"The morning we left after we showered together. Monica now continue, PLEASE!"

Quickly Monica kissed him and removed her hand from his pants. "Drive on please. Rachel doesn't cook. But she assured me that they have a very good Austrian cook named Eileen. Who studied at the very best school in Austria, Paris and in New York. I can not wait to try her food." She looked over at Chandler who looked more than a bit flustered. "Oh, fix your pants and calm down. You will scare Gracie. She's Rachel's three and a half year old daughter."

Chandler did as she suggested. Murmuring a few choice words as he did so. He then looked over at Monica who was fixing her makeup. "You do realize that you are going to pay when we get back home."

Monica leaned over. "That is what I am hoping for."

"You teasing, evil woman. I said it once You are far more addictive than a porn star."

"Only with you. Now drive on."

After a bit of calming down, Chandler started the car. While driving, plans were traveling through his mind. And he started smiling.

"I have a question for ya. You said that Rachel and Ross dated."

"Yes. Rachel and her family lived down the street from me. We played together when we were in preschool and when Rachel and I were in junior high, Ross just started high school, he somehow got up the nerve enough to ask her out. And Rachel could not refuse. Since it was a high school student compared with the other girls boyfriends from junior high."

Chandler grinned. "The my boyfriend is better than your boyfriend."

"Yes. But even when we got to high school and he turned out to be a geek, she still stayed with him. She really did love him."

"But she did not stay with him."

"The next day after the party, she came over to the house and told mom and dad that it was her fault about us being at the party."

"So she wanted to take the blame for everything."

"Yes. Mom told her not to bother that Ross told them what I was really like. Ross told them that I was a major flirt, that I dressed like a hooker that I was in short I changed clothes after I arrived and that I was always causing trouble at school."

"And of course they believed him."

"He is of course perfect prince Ross." Monica shook her head. "Rachel got mad and told them that I was just treating those boys how I treated Ross. When I got to school, I went to the bathrooms and changed into some clothes that Rachel herself brought, so if they were running down the way I dress, they were running down how she dressed as well. And that I never got into trouble. It was Rachel that got into trouble and being the great friend I was, I waited for her to get out of detention or waited until her cheerleading practice was over."

"She really stood up for ya."

"Yes she did. Then she turned to Ross and asked if he was going to say something. Ross said they were right and Rachel ended the relationship. After that mom banned her from the house, and I could no longer talk to her on the phone, I also had to come straight home from school. The only time I saw her was at school."

"Man, that was harsh."

"Yell me about it. Two years later, Rachel helped me again. A month before I was to get married, I snuck over to her house and she gave me some clothes and a lift to nana Geller's. Nana Geller stood up for me and told my parents that since I was eighteen, I was going to stay with her. I got on at the culinary school. Two years later, I got a great job as a chef. When I turned twenty nana said she was going to move to Florida and was giving me the apartment for a birthday present. Two months after, you and Joey moved in across the hall. And now here I am twenty six years old, engaged, and my parents and I are not talking."

"Talking is overrated."

"What you wanted to do should be R rated."

"Look who is talking, X rated."

"Funny."

"So who is laughing?"

"Turn right at the next street. Then left on the second street and it is the third driveway on the right."

"The one with the mailbox that says Mathews?"

"Yes."

After pulling up, Monica and Chandler got out and got their bags. A little girl walked over.

Chandler smiled at her. "Hi."

The girl cocked her head sideways and then yelled out. "Mommy, strangers!"

Rachel ran out of the front door looking worried then she saw Monica and smiled. She had strawberry blond hair, high fashion clothes and seemed to be the perfect doctor's wife.

Then hugged Monica tight. And breathlessly said, "Monica it is so good to see you. And you must be Chandler. And this is Gracie." Seeing that she would not say anything. "They're ok Gracie. They are not strangers anymore." Then as a way of explaining. "I taught Gracie about strangers."

"Good idea." Chandler stated.

Rachel bent down to Gracie's height. "Gracie, remember me telling you about auntie Monica and her boyfriend your soon to be uncle Chandler?" She shook her head yes. "Well this is them. SO they are no longer strangers."

Gracie opened her eyes wide. "I can talk to them?"

"Yes." Rachel then got up from her position.

"Good. I am going to have a birthday and will be this many years." She held out four fingers.

"Oh, you are a big girl." Monica explained.

"Yes I am."

"I haven't seen you since you were a week old."

"Rachel you are to be congratulated, your daughter is very pretty." Chandler smiled.

Gracie evidently liked that. "Unca Chandler, come and see my kitty, Snow." She then grabbed his free hand.

"She makes snow?"

"No, that is her name. Guess what color she is."

"So let me guess, she is orange?"

"You're funny, she's white.

"Gracie, I think we should let them unpack in their room."

"OK."

Gracie still had a hold of his hand. "Gracie go play in your room."

"Can I eat an apple?"

"Yes go get one from Eileen."

"K" She then skipped off.

Rachel shook her head. "Four years old going on fourteen. Chandler if you are not careful, you are going to have a girl with a crush on you."

Chandler blushed. Monica laughed. Rachel then showed them to their room where they started to unpack. Or Monica did. Chandler had other ideas.

The next thing Monica knew was that she was pushed back on the bed and Chandler was kissing her. He then worked his was down to her neck. Monica closed her eyes enjoying what was going on.

They were so busy, they did not hear the light knock or the door open. They stopped when they heard Gracie bite into an apple. And looked over. Gracie was watching them with interest.

Monica pushed Chandler away. "We were just wrestling." Monica tried her best to convince her.

"Kissing. My mommy and daddy do it all the time." Gracie grinned. "Chandler and Monica sitting in a tree…"

"No P-I-E after dinner since someone forgot her manners and entered without knocking." Rachel entered the room.

"But I did."

"Rachel, she probably did. We were just a little too busy to notice." Monica explained.

"I wish Chip and I were bit more busy like that. He is way to busy with his job as of late."

"That is what you get for marrying a doctor." Monica smiled.

"Anyway, are you done unpacking?"

"Someone distracted me." Monica looked at Chandler.

"I didn't hear you complaining."

"We'll finish this later."

"Promises, promises."

"I meant the packing."

"That wasn't what I meant."

"I know what you meant. And not until we reach home."

"But…"

"Gracie is here."

"I meant friendly kisses is all."

"Nice try. Rachel, did you need something?"

"Wanted to know if you both would like a tour of the house?"

"I guess I could unpack later."

Ten minutes later in the family room. Rachel was sitting on a chair while Chandler and Monica sat on the couch, with Gracie between them petting Snow.

"Rachel your house is beautiful. You have a lot of antiques and it so clean."

"The antiques are from Pottery Barn and the maid, Avery, cleans very well."

Just then they heard a car pull up. "Daddy's home!" Gracie got up and ran toward the front door. "Daddy, guess what? We have some people here and guess what? They are not strangers. And the one that is Auntie Monica is wearing clothes that are out of fashion! And Unca Chandler is sooo funny. I told him about Snow and you know what he said?" Then she went on without waiting for her dad to say anything. "After I askded him what color he thought Snow was and guess what he said? Orange! Who would name a cat that name if it's orange! Silly, huh?"

Chip walked into the family room with Gracie following him. "Gracie, I think that he was trying to be funny. And Gracie, her clothes are fine. That was wrong of you to say that."

Gracie slumped her shoulders and frowned. "Yes, daddy."

Rachel then stepped in. "Chip, uh I hope that you don't mind, but I invited Monica and Chandler to stay tonight."

Chip pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "Really? And why did not I get informed of your little decision?"

"I tried to get a hold of you. But you were in a meeting."

His expression changed. "Oh yeah. Uh, I have to make a quick phone call." He then left to his study.

Rachel turned toward Monica. "I know that Gracie is a little outspoken, but she is just like me in the fashion department. I hope that you don't mind."

Monica laughed. "I don't mind at all. That was exactly what you were like, if I remember. Besides, these clothes are kinda old. I wore them at my parents' house. To try and get on their good sides."

"And it still didn't work."

"No. But I've decided to give up."

"Eh, their loss."

Later on that night. Monica and Chandler were in bed together.

"You know, Chandler. I think that you have a little admirer. Do you think our daughter is going to have the hots for you like Gracie does?" She then smiled slyly while looking over at the man she gave everything to. Her heart, innocence and her soul.

"I think that I am someone who is new and teased her about her kitten and…" Chandler then stopped and turned Monica around. "Did you say what I think you said? W-we are going to h-have a ba-ba..."

"Come on Chandler. I know you can say it."

"B-baby!"

"Now was that so hard? And the answer is yes."

"Parents. And me a father." He said that in disbelief. Then his tone changed to pure terror. "A father! I am going to be a father!"

"Chandler settle down. You are going to be a great father."

"Am I? Remember what I did to your poor plants when you went to Florida last year to visit your grandmother?"

"Chandler anybody could over water plants."

"Evidently you don't remember. I drowned those plants by causing a flood in those flower pots. Twice a day."

"You watered them like that twice a day?"

"I did not want them to die of thirst."

"Chandler that was way too much water."

"The book I was reading said the plants at the rainforest have more water than that."

"Remind me never to let you around my plants again."

"Now imagine what I could do to a child. I am going to kill a poor innocent baby and am going to jail."

"Chandler wanna know how I can tell you're going to be a great father." Monica looked deep into his worried eyes and smiled. Hoping to put him at ease. "They way you were with Gracie."

"I was just trying to include her and have fun with her."

"You see. Whether you know it or not, you were born to be a father. Trust me." She then kissed Chandler. Which led to a make out session. Then after a bit, started to lead to something more intense.

Before it could continue, Chandler pulled away. "Monica this won't hurt the baby?"

"No. But let's be quiet. Gracie is asleep."

"You quiet?"

"Or try to be."

"What about Gracie?"

"Worried already?"

"Just remembering mom and her many boyfriends."

"I think Gracie has heard this stuff before."

"Ya know, This is good practice for us if we want to have more kids. How many do you want?"

"Only an even dozen." Chandler looked at her with horror. "I am kidding. Let's wait and see. But I want this kid to have at least two siblings."

Chandler smiled. "Three is not bad. But let's keep in practice though. Just in case." Monica just laughed.

What do you think? In the next chapter, Chandler and Monica discover some dark secrets about the Mathews house. Anyone take any guesses. Come on. Throw me a bone here. I must know how I am doing. Silences are not good for us writers.


	5. Dark Secrets Coming To Light

-1I do not own Friends.

I thought I would be done with this fic this chapter. It appears as though that was only wishful thinking. The other fics, I have a bad case of writer's block.

But I have an idea of young Friends in the Netherlands during WWII. Jack snuck Monica and Ross out and found them two new homes to stay in. Ross was in the Tribbianni home as Joey's brother. Joey's real brother had just died and no one knew. So he took his place and Nora Bing took Monica in as her second cousin's daughter. Her second cousin had just died. What do you think?

Warning, this chapter will deal with some very upsetting subject matter.

YE HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

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"So when did you find out?" Chandler's hand tracing patterns on Monica's bare back.

"I have been late for almost two months. So I brought a test with me. And I took it before I took my shower."

"And I know the answer to the test."

"You were the one who helped me get an 'A' on that little project."

"Want to get some extra credit?" Chandler grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. Monica shook her head and laid it back on his chest.

"I believe that you made an A on that subject in health class."

"My favorite class."

Monica looked up. "I thought your favorite class was computer lit."

"Monica I was a hormonal teenage boy. My body demanded I like the subject in health class."

"I don't think your body had much of a fight."

"Well considering that was all of me thought of. Mind, body and soul."

"Not surprisingly, you still haven't changed."

"Mon, I thought that you like the outcome."

"Who says I don't?" She then pressed her lips against his.

It was then that Rachel passed by her room and heard Chandler's muffled voice and Monica's giggle in reply. She smiled and then winced and walked to the bathroom. Shut the door, turned on the light and looked into the mirror and then sighed at her reflection. She was going to have to buy some more foundation. She was going to run out soon. She then touched her cheek gingerly.

What had happened? How did everything that was so right and perfect turn out so bad? Rachel sniffed. There was nothing that she could do about it. She was at a dead end. She had no former jobs or work experiences. As Chip said, she was worthless.

She could not even give him a son like he wanted. Gracie had a twin brother named Gregory. He had come out still born at birth. And Chip clamed it had been poor Gracie's fault. He ignored her unless she did something wrong then she was as bad as her mother.

And even if she and Gracie left, they would be homeless. And she could not condemn Gracie to that. Gracie's needs where first and foremost in her mind. She would continue to be the punching bag to let Chip release his anger on.

She could forgive Chip all of his affairs. With his secretary, his nurses (both male and female), the neighbors, Avery the maid and even the cook, Eileen. Even him beating her up. But on the day that Chip would hurt Gracie, that would be it. Chip might end up dead. But even though Chip was indifferent to his daughter, he would never hit her.

Who was she kidding? She would never leave. She was too much a coward and dependant on Chip and his security. So she was stuck. Rachel cried a bit and sighed. Wiped her tears and threw the tissue away. Then left the bathroom.

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The next morning, Chandler opened his eyes and saw a cute little girl with big blue eyes like her mother and two brown pigtails with a gapped toothed grin on her face. He smiled, secretly wishing that his and Monica's daughter would be just like this little girl in all of her cute innocence.

"Unca Chandler! Guessy what?"

Chandler smiled as he sat up noticing that Monica was not there. She was probably with Rachel. "What?"

"Cartoons!"

Chandler started to get up and then thought better of it. "Tell ya what. You go downstairs and I will be joining you in a bit once I get dressed. K?"

"K." She started to walk out. But was stopped.

"Uh, Gracie, could you shut the door?"

"See ya." After the door was firmly shut. Chandler got of bed and quickly dressed. A bit later he was watching TV with Gracie.

"Aren't they cute." Rachel gushed.

"Yeah. Your four year old daughter, with my kid or in reality twenty seven year old fiancé. Both watching cartoons."

Chandler glared at Monica as she and Rachel laughed hard at Chandler's expense. "I am only doing this to spend some time with Gracie."

"Nice try, coming from the guy who has on Donald Duck briefs."

"Hey, they are Daffy Duck! Not Donald! There is a difference! Ya know!"

Rachel was laughing so hard that she was almost crying. Monica was grinning from ear to ear. Chip just looked at him like he was crazy. And got back to reading the paper. Or he was trying to.

"Daffy Rocks!" Gracie defended both Chandler and Daffy.

"Awe. Hey can I keep her?" Chandler asked out loud.

"Can I go with him? Please!" Gracie asked out hopefully. Chip looked at him evilly. He hated that man who seemed to be taking his child away from him.

"At least until the terrible teen years starts then give her back." Then looking at Gracie's hurt expression. "Then again, if ya came to stay with me, you wouldn't leave. I wouldn't let ya."

"Chandler we are going to have enough to deal with when our baby comes." Monica grinned.

"You're going to have a baby?" Rachel exclaimed. "When were you going to tell me?"

"Just found out last night."

"That is so great! Chandler what do you think?"

"I'm happy."

"Now." Monica stated remembering last nights conversation. Chandler just glared at her. "What? Rachel if ya would have seen him last night and heard what he said, you would be rolling on the floor."

"You'll have to tell me about it later."

"Oh, I will." Monica grinned at Chandler who just made a face at her.

"What are you both hoping for?" Rachel asked.

Chandler and Monica both responded at the same time, "A girl."

"Phsyc, you owe me a coke." Chandler replied.

"Well, it seems that I can not get any quiet in my own home, I am going to my study."

"Well Chip we are entertaining guests." Rachel committed. Chip glared at her when he left the room.

"Jesus, I have seen less ice coming from one of Joey's girlfriends after she found out that he two timed her." Chandler stated. Meaning it as a joke.

Monica laughed. Rachel smiled nervously. She hoped that Chip would be in a better mood later. If not, then he would let out how much he hated this weekend on her.

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Fortunately, that was not to be. Rachel invited all of them into the kitchen to get something to eat. Gracie ran ahead.

"GET OUT! You little RUNT!" Chip screamed at his daughter.

Rachel, Monica and Chandler ran in and were disgusted by what they saw. Gracie had tears running down her cheeks. Chip had his shirt unbuttoned and Eileen was holding her blouse over her chest.

"GET OUT! YOU RETARDED……"

"CHIP! DON'T YELL AT MY DAUGHTER!"

Chip backhanded Rachel sending her to the floor. "Mommy!" Gracie was over by her side in a flash as well as Monica and Chandler.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU WHORE!"

Rachel got to her feet. She would get out. She would take Gracie and run. She no longer cared. She had to get herself and Gracie out. There was all kinds of women's shelters that she could go to.

"Don't worry, Gracie and I will leave. But before I do. You made a mistake. I was not the one having affairs with every woman right and left."

Chip went to strike her. But stopped seeing Chandler standing in front of Rachel. Chip had no problem hitting a defenseless Rachel. But he was not about to start a fight he knew he might not win with Chandler.

"Monica, take Rachel and Gracie upstairs and have them pack. Get our stuff. Then collect everything and go out to the car. I will make sure that Mathews here will not follow." Eileen had run out into the pantry.

"Rachel, when I get an attorney. I will total custody of Gracie."

"No you won't."

"She will not be having any money, no job and no place to live. The courts will side with me." Rachel stopped afraid of her husband being right.

"She and Gracie will have a place to stay and Mon and I will make sure that they are both taken care of." With that reassurance. Rachel let Monica drag her out.

Chandler looked at Gracie. Then instructed her, "Gracie, honey, will you help your mom out and go up to your room and pick out your most favorite toys. K." Gracie shook her head yes and hugged Chandler and then ran out of the kitchen.

Chip made a lunge past Chandler. Chandler doubled up his fist and slammed it into Chip's jaw. Chip lost his balance and fell back onto the floor.

Chandler then picked up the wall phone and made a very important phone call. "Hello 911 operator? Could you send some officers over to this address please. The man who lives here has beaten his wife…I witnessed it….I don't believe it is a onetime thing."

Chandler stayed on the line until some officers came. One was a male officer and one was a female.

The male officer stayed with Chandler and Chip in the kitchen and took both of their statements. While the female officer talked to Rachel in the living room. Monica packed up some more clothes for Rachel and Gracie was busy putting her favorite toys into a box.

After a bit, Chip was arrested and it was determined that Chandler struck in self defense. Monica gave her phone number and address where Rachel and Gracie were going to be at. Chandler, Monica, Rachel and Gracie loaded up two cars and left.

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A new unexpected chapter in their lives will happen. Please review.


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